Commentary

The scrapbook party

So, my wife Cheryl was asked to host a scrapbook party at our place and she accepted. About a month ago, the woman who does Cheryl’s nails invited her to one. It’s like Tupperware parties except the women cut pictures and design pages for a personal scrapbook. So, my wife Cheryl was asked to host a scrapbook party at our place and she accepted. About a month ago, the woman who does Cheryl’s nails invited her to one. It’s like Tupperware parties except the women cut pictures and design pages for a personal scrapbook. Cheryl’s page was very nice. She had photos of our honeymoon in the Bahamas.

So the nail-lady asked Cheryl if she would be willing to host a scrapbook party at our place and, of course, she accepted. Of course that meant cleaning up and this time I made good on all of my promises because I didn’t want a repeat of last week (refer to “My Wife’s Go To Guy”). So the night before the scrapbook party while we were getting ready for bed, Cheryl mentioned inviting Eve (Eve is a fake name used to protect the real woman’s identity) then took it back. Wow. Eve refused to visit Cheryl during her fibroid recovery because Cheryl didn’t invite Eve’s friend to her 30th birthday party. How silly is that? Anyway, now that Cheryl had finally forgiven Eve and they were semi speaking again, I thought it would be a good idea for her to invite Eve to the scrapbook party. And as I suspected, Cheryl wasn’t quite convinced. I thought it would be a great way to show grace and forgiveness by still inviting her even though she had done her wrong just a few months ago.

“Ah, I don’t know about that”, she said.
“No, I really think you should invite her.”
“Why?”

“Because not only will it demonstrate forgiveness to Eve, but just think how it will impact the other women you invited.” You see all of the other women Cheryl invited are her good friends and of course they knew about the injustice Eve had committed. I felt that by Cheryl inviting her it would demonstrate once and for all that she was through with the pettiness. I also knew that had the shoe been on the other foot, Eve would not have invited Cheryl to a scrapbook party. What a great way to exercise grace, the kind of grace God grants us every single day.

The next morning as I was getting dressed for church, once again I made my UN plea and gave Cheryl Eve’s phone number. When I returned from church Cheryl informed me that she called Eve and invited her to the scrapbook party. I was so proud of her. Deep down I knew something special was going to happen. A few hours later I walked into the living room and there was Eve talking with a newlywed woman from our church. I wrote a column piece about her and her husband’s wedding the week before and showed it to her. Even though Eve’s refusal to visit Cheryl during her six-week recovery was very hurtful to my wife, I was still glad to see her. I forgave her. The scrapbook party went well.

After Eve left, a few of Cheryl’s friends stated that she was definitely the bigger woman for inviting her. Even though Eve was still a little rigid and uptight it didn’t matter to me because she was there and I knew deep down it made an impact. What that impact was and the significance of if, I’ll never know but feel it was the right thing to do. One of the things that continually amaze me about being married is the incredible life lessons learned though the experiences of your spouse. Relationships don’t survive without forgiveness especially a marriage and the more we can exercise it with one another the better people we become.

Kenneth and his wife Cheryl live in Los Angeles, CA. In addition to Young, Married, & Black, Kenneth writes professional screenplays and non-fiction books. Send your comments to: ymandb@pacbell.net

February 17, 2003
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