One of my goals for this column is to provide insight about men from a man’s perspective.
This insight is necessary for healthy interaction with men. The way a man thinks, though not always predictable, is based on his very basic design. Man’s psyche is not only predicated on this design, but is a direct reflection of it. I would like to provide you with four very basic principles of the male psyche that I believe everyone should understand.
The first principle is men have an emotional suppressor.
Although men are not void of emotions, they do have a temporary emotional storage container provided to them at creation. The brief period between man being formed and God breathing life into him provided him this shell. Man would need this emotional suppressor to hunt, fish and, if needed, wage war. Man would now be able to stare down the lion without fear in his eyes, or put his feeling for family aside while he guarded the wall on foreign shores. Because the world we live in still requires men to execute justice, or even kill in protection of others, this part of the male psyche is still needed.
The second principle is man’s feelings are processed though logic.
Because if this, a man’s true response to his feelings are delayed. If a man is overtaken with emotions, his first response is not “what” but rather “why” is he feeling this way. After he has time to logically think about it and connect the “what I am feeling” to his emotions, he will most likely need to change his first respond. To avoid this, give the man time to think about the question before he is prompted for an answer.
The third principle is all men have two natures.
Men have an external nature that desires what he sees and an internal one that desires what is in his heart. When a man see’s externally what is stored in is heart, good or bad, he will go after it. Because the desire of man’s heart will manifest itself in external behavior, this desire has led some men to greatness and brought others to ruin. The two natures of a man is one of the greatest unseen forces that impact his psyche. When faithfulness is in a man’s heart, he will be faithful. If it is not there, what he sees will distract him from logic, and he will be led him astray.
Finally, men have unlimited potential.
What you see in a man is only a fraction of what he can be. The ground that man was created from gave birth to everything you see with the naked eye. Everything you use from cars to computers, to oil and nuclear energy came from the ground. So no matter what a man has accomplished, he like the earth from which he came, is capable of producing more. This belief directs his psyche. When a man sees himself as limited, he will become selfish and insecure. But when a man draws energy and passion from his unlimited potential, his psyche is healthy and whole. As a he thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverb 23:7).
Understanding the male psyche is a very important part of healthy male interaction. A baby boy has everything he needs. He will not get any new hands, heart, back, or brain. But the ones he has must be developed in a healthy way. Everyone that comes in contact with that baby boy impacts his psyche in some way. Be careful. The male psyche is very fragile. You can foster it our crush it, and the rest of his life will be impact by it. This will have an impact on his emotional health, and his future potential. Plant wisely. From that baby boy’s heart, the world will reap with others have sown.
Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. To get copies of his books, for questions, comments or more information, go to www.tlhouston.com.