Men are born whole. They come into the world full of wonder and potential. Their souls and spirits are one, and they are at peace internally and externally. But when something happens that wounds his ego, attacks his sexuality, or scars him emotionally, a tear is made in his masculine soul. Wounded boys, become wounded men, and wounded men become wounded fathers. In order for us to be a better, community of families, we must provide healing for the masculine soul.
First, we must acknowledge that men can be wounded emotionally. This may not be readily apparent. When a man is scared at a young age emotionally, he only knows what he knows so his broken life may seem normal to him. He may view his vices and addictions as a part of his life’s choices. To some degree that may be true, but it may also be true that someone else impacted his life. He may need help in understanding that things that he has done may be a by-product of the things that were done to him. A man can no more create a tear in his masculine soul than he can perform open heart surgery on himself. Because someone outside of him was involved in creating the tear, someone outside of him will be involved in the healing process as well.
Secondly, we must find a way to get medicine to the wound. This may be very painful. Wounds have to be exposed to be treated properly. Covering up the wound and healing is not the same. Sensitive nerve will become visible and inordinate affection will rise to the surface. Men who have spent a lifetime masking the shame associated with their emotional scars are now asked to uncover them for healing sake. Despite this reservation, exposure is needed for permanent healing to take place.
Finally, we must address the need for spiritual and emotional healing. Once the wound has been exposed and medicine applied, the man must submit himself to the aftercare process. Emotional and spiritual wounds will have to be addressed and treated properly. No single therapy or counselling session will be sufficient. Men who are wounded need a safe, healthy environment to recover. This environment must be sterile and free from the vices that have once ruled their life. The wounded man will need to stay clear of any situation that has the potential to injure him again. This is the role of the church, to provide a safe place for spiritual and emotional healing to take place in a non-judgemental environment.
There is healing for the masculine soul. If the church is the spiritual and emotional hospital, then God is the master physician. I believe that He is the only one who can permanently heal the tear in the masculine soul. Qualified professionals will have their part, but God will do the heavy lifting. Through his Son, he has given us all access to permanent healing. “Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed” Isaiah 53:4-5.
Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. To get copies of his books, for questions, comments or more information, go to www.tlhouston.com.