Ending the war of the emotions

By Timothy Houston


The Black family is under attack and the emotional battle between men and women of all races is at an all time high. For our community to become better, we must be better. When men and women battle emotionally, everyone loses. To counter this, we need information that will help bring emotional healing and resolution. Knowledge is power, and power is needed for sustained change. Here are a few things to consider as we work to help end the war of the emotions.

First, women must understand that men have a delayed response to emotions. A man has emotions, but he generally expresses them through his actions. Men feel the most secure when they keep their emotions to themselves. This is a part of his original design. God formed man from the dust of the ground, and he was an empty shell before God breathed life into him. Because of this, man has within him the ability to suppress his emotions which makes it possible for him to deal dispassionately with the consequences of his actions. One of the first steps to understanding man is to know that he needs time and space for his emotions to catch up with his actions.

Secondly, men must understand the women have an instant response to emotions. Unlike man, a woman is an emotional being. She was created with the ability to bring forth life within her. Able as she is to sense the subtle changes of a child growing in her womb, she has physical and emotional connections to all life that supersede that of a man. It is her nature to express her love and care through her emotions. A woman feels most comfortable when she is able to share her emotions. When a man provides a healthy outlet for a woman to share her emotions, she remains emotionally balanced, and everyone is better because if it.

Thirdly, both men and women must respect their emotional differences. The way a man and a woman express their emotions is different and visible to all. Men and women will never see eye to eye so they must work on better communication. As the man works on sharing his emotions more and the woman works on allowing him time to do so, emotional conflict will be minimized. This mutual respect will foster harmony and meaningful communication. This emotional harmony will have a positive impact on the Black family and our community.

Finally, both men and women must agree to continue to work to end the war of the emotions. Struggles involving emotional battles damage relationships, and in the end, no one wins. When a man finds himself losing the battle emotionally, he may try to make it a battle of words, in most instances, he is no match for the woman. If he continues to lose, he may shutdown completely which, in turn, causes him more internal conflict. This war of the emotions impacts the man, woman, family, and community.

The war of the emotions can be won. Wars are ended with treaties. When a man and woman come together at the negotiation table, the lines of communication are opened, and the ability to resolve the issue becomes possible. There is no force more powerful in this world than a man and woman working together. This oneness makes for better relationships, neighborhoods, and communities. When this union takes place, the war of the emotions is ended, and black families grow and flourish!

Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. For questions, comments or more information, go to

February 22, 2016
The Journal For Community News, Business and The Arts serving the African American community in Minneapolis-St.Paul. Available on news stands and online at

1815 Bryant Ave N, Minneapolis, MN 55411
(612) 588-1313


Download our Media Kit (PDF file, requires Adobe Acrobat Reader)

Newspaper Deadlines
-Classified: Ad inquiries due one week prior to run date Wednesday
-Display: Space reservation due one week prior to run date and material due Wednesday the week prior to run date.
-Insight News print edition is published weekly on Mondays

For more information call: 612.588.1313