Commentary, Slider

Say ‘meh’ to the Russian hacks

By Carol Cao

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When there’s a ginormous elephant in the room glowering at you with the evil eye, what do you do?
Don’t talk to it. Don’t talk about it.

The CIA reached their conclusion about the Russian hacks intervening in the tides of the 2016 Election. But the news outlet entertained us enough with Hillary Clinton’s email scandal. So let’s follow the President-elect’s counsel … get over it.

It’s because you’re mad that you lost, sore loser. It’s your moral failing to accept the reality of Donald Trump as the President. Say you tell us, “Wait, it’s not about Clinton losing, it’s actually about the possibility of future breaches.” Nope, ain’t happening. Take the skepticism pill.

According to Trump and his crew, when a hacking suspicion (that has been invoked in America’s intellectual agency circles in June and then elevated to public attention a month before election) has been belatedly reported to the public, the crime never happened. End of story. Our democratic system can’t act on every mite … unless said suspicions are against Muslims in their heavy garb going to the airport on a family trip.

Leaks won’t escalate into World War III. Look away, change the channel, pump up the volume, and ignore the rising sea soaking our socks and climbing up from our ankles to our knees. If you’re so insecure about your emails, revert to the archaic era of a paper and pen (Our President-elect’s recommendation) and a lifetime supplies of envelopes and stamps with the American flag.

Meh to democracy. Meh to the reports of trolls hired by Russia to circulate fake news. Meh to the earthquake of the floor as the tusked elephant heads over about to stab you.

We can afford to turn our heads away.

Whatever public revelation Trump promises on the Russian hacks, I hope he delivers it through the convenience of Twitter on … Tuesday or Wednesday. Or maybe he’ll distribute them through the labor of handwritten letters for the entire nation.

Carol Cao is a satirical freelance columnist whose works have appeared in various publications, including Insight News.

January 9, 2017
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