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Jul 23rd

When you meet someone special, treat her like she is

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When you meet someone special, treat her like she is

Meeting that special someone; there's probably been more books written about that than there's room for on your shelves. And every last one of 'em takes pages and pages, plus the purchase price, to tell what takes much less time and doesn't cost a dime. So, just to be a nice guy, I'm gonna give you the 411 for free.
Meeting that special someone; there's probably been more books written about that than there's room for on your shelves. And every last one of 'em takes pages and pages, plus the purchase price, to tell what takes much less time and doesn't cost a dime. So, just to be a nice guy, I'm gonna give you the 411 for free.

Fellas -- you run into someone you like, act like it. Pay attention to her and not so much her body. Telling her she's pretty is fine. But do not, dummy, under any circumstance, get caught constantly sneaking a peak at her behind. Or worse, staring at it. Or glancing down her blouse. She will, if she has any sense, pretend she's going to use the powder room and then slip off to the side and call the dogcatcher.

Second -- it shouldn't be necessary to tell this to a man who wants someone special. Do yourself a reality check. Do you want a lady in your life or a hottie in the sack? That's not a trick question or snap morality quiz; it's common sense. Men who don't know the difference about themselves -- if their dreamboat's ship ever does come in, they will be waiting for it at the airport. Be aware of what it is you really want. That way you stand a decent chance of knowing what do when it drops in your lap.

Okay, next step -- you asked her out and she's looking forward to it. Whoever made the age-old observation that you never get a first chance to make a second impression wasn't just beating their gums. Be a damned gentleman, in every corny and clichéd sense of the word. You want to be Sir Walter Raleigh, Billy Dee and Richard Pryor rolled into one -- even if you look like none of them. The gallantry of Sir Walter: no, stupid, don't take your coat off and cover a mud puddle with it. Just open the door for her when you get to restaurant. Pull her chair out. Compliment her hair. Billy Dee: smile, man. I don't say sit there and grin like a blithering idiot. Just have a pleasant demeanor about you. And there is nothing more pleasant than a relaxed smile. Write this on the blackboard ten times a day until it becomes your mantra: women respond to warmth. You got it? Good. Now write it on the board again, ten more times. Richard Pryor: have a sense of humor. Even if you don't know joke the first, just see the humor in things. It shows that you're capable of having a nice time.

Talk to and with -- not at -- her. This is not the time to roll out your resume or otherwise toot your horn. Chat about interests you have in common. Ask her about herself; what things she likes, whether she's ever done this or that. Do not -- are you listening? -- do not hit her with, "So, why are you single?" No matter how innocently you may mean it, it implies that something must be wrong with her. Hell, you're single, aren't you? Instead of what amounts to tire-kicking, look at it like this: if she wasn't single, you wouldn't be getting a shot. And let it go at that. Everybody gotta be single at some point, and if you want to stay that way, go ahead and ask questions that make her feel defensive.

Finally, let it happen. You know what I'm talking about. Intimacy and proximity is not the same thing, so don't be leading up to and picking a point at which to "make your move." Forget hauling out your book of guaranteed-to-get-some lines. While it's impossible to be in her company and not imagine things going further, keep your imagination in its pants. Believe me; she will let you know when you have the green light. And it will be about feelings sparking between you and her, not your best strategy to separate her from her clothing.

A foolproof rule of thumb: when you meet someone special, here's an idea -- treat her like she is.
 

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