If it’s on my desk, it’s mine.
If I want it, it’s mine.
If I need it, it’s mine.
If I used to have one just like it, it’s mine.
If I break it, it’s yours.
If it’s in the break room and unlabeled, it’s mine.
If it’s in the break room and I don’t see your name on it, it’s mine.
If I run late, it is unavoidable.
If you run late, it is unforgiveable.
If I can hear you over the walls of your cube, you are too loud.
If you talk to me over the walls of your cube, I can’t hear you.
If you have two ears and one mouth, listen more, speak less.
If it’s Monday, ask me about my weekend.
If it’s Friday, ask me about my weekend.
If I don’t ask about your weekend, it does not mean I don’t like you. Probably.
And as long as we have to work together, have my back. I’ll have yours, too. Probably.