In 1974, a young woman attended a dance at St. Thomas University in Saint Paul. At the dance she met a young man. Six months later they were married. Thirty-five years later the married couple, Joseph Ellis, a union electrician, and Gwen Ellis, an educator, are an institution representing long-standing Black love, a strong marriage and faith in God. Their legacy is carried on through their five children, Joseph Ellis, senior vice president at Wells Fargo Wealth Management; Jeshua Ellis, concrete finisher; Josiah Ellis, certified flight instructor; Jeremiah Ellis, recent DFL-endorsed candidate for Minnesota House of Representatives and an advocate for family and community involvement at Maxfield Elementary School in Saint Paul; and Jessica (Ellis) Brooks, audience development coordinator at the Ordway. Beyond their personal and professional accomplishments the Ellis’s are a closely knit familial unit hard wired to serve their community at work, home and in life. Service began with character building in the fundamental stages of the children’s lives by instilling integrity, responsibility, discipline and Christian values. For Joseph and Gwen, parenthood was a reciprocal learning process that involved a lot of sacrifice. Joseph said, “I became very responsible very fast. We took parenting seriously. It was like you gave up your life somewhat.”
As they welcomed each new infant to the family, the Ellis’s received the new life as a gift they would eventually give to society. Gwen said, “I was not raising children but I was raising adults --what you plant is what you harvest. So my end goal was to work myself out of a job. I feel like I was accountable to God. He would not have given them to me if I wasn’t responsible, and He would hold me accountable for what I did not do.”
Joseph and Gwen believed one way of developing productive individuals, was to tap into the individual talents of each child, and hone their natural skills and abilities. As a young boy Josiah loved aviation. It was a passion that occupied his imagination. His bedroom ceiling was painted as a sky with clouds, and mobile airplanes hung from the ceiling at different levels. Gwen said she committed to helping her children explore their options and gain exposure to careers that suited them. At times that meant taking on an unexpected role like becoming a flight student. “I went to ground school, too,” said Gwen. “Was that an interest of mine? No, but that helped him a lot, so therefore he was able to achieve his goal as a pilot. I have learned a lot about the world through their eyes.” Retired Saint Paul Police Sgt. Mamie Lanford Singleton, who is also Executive Director and Founder of Youth Initiative Aviation Academy, met Josiah in 1994 when he joined the academy. She was always impressed with the way Joseph and Gwen raised their children. “The golden rule I saw her pushing was to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So it doesn’t surprise me to see Josiah giving back to our program as he does. They listen to their children, they understand what their dreams are and their passions, and they work with the children to cultivate their skills,” said Singelton.
Gwen even went as far as sending her children to four different high schools, to receive the best instruction for their individual learning styles. At times this meant she would travel from Maplewood to St. Louis Park. Joseph said, “Part of the support was letting them know we are there for them. And we always instilled that in them.”
Being there for them also meant giving the right discipline as needed. Gwen said, there were consequences for what they did that was wrong. “Show them that they are wrong, tell them that they are wrong, but they are all individual so you have to deal with them individually,” she said. Sometimes if a wrong occurred at the hands of two or more siblings, they received their discipline as a team. Two siblings were racing for a ringing phone, when one fell into the wall forming a hole in the wall the size of a body silhouette. As a team they restored the wall with sheetrock and paint. Jessica said, “My parents balanced the discipline and love that was needed to make sure we were on the straight and narrow. They gave us the freedom to be who we were created to be, never comparing us to any other sibling.”
The idea of teamwork was expressed in parents sharing traditional household roles, siblings sharing chores, and at times the whole family readily accepting individuals moving into the home until they were financially stable.
Jessica continued, “We all had different responsibilities that helped contribute to the overall function of the home; whether it was doing yard work, cleaning the inside of the house, or doing the dishes. Everyone was assigned something on a daily basis. Growing up we had a strict routine that helped us stay organized and in order”
Joseph and Gwen not only learned how to parent effectively through experience, but they depended on help from family, friends and the community. Gwen said, “I do believe that it takes a whole village to raise a child, and my philosophy is that you are that village. So not only does it take somebody to help you, but you also need to help somebody else.”
Talaya Tolefree, Director of Bethel University King Family Foundation Child Development Center, and her husband Sean have known the Ellis family for 11 years, and consider them family. Joseph and Gwen Ellis are godparents to their daughter Nia. They knew they wanted the Ellis family to be a permanent part of their lives after witnessing their commitment to God, the results of their parenting skills, knowledge and respect for African American heritage and culture, and their heart for service. Talaya said, “Serving their community comes natural; it’s an innate responsibility for their entire family and when placed in a position to lead, they embrace the task and rise to the occasion with such care, excellence and accountability as though their lives depended upon it. The Ellis family is very genuine in their interactions and service, it's never about them or what they can get from someone, but it’s about how they can build others up and empower them to become the best at whatever God has given them.”
Joseph Jr. summed up what he has learned from his parents that has guided him and his siblings to great heights. ”Really the value of working hard --Judeo Christian values. The values of determining what you want to do and finding ways to go about getting it. And also my parents taught us to be tolerant and accepting of other people. Knowing that there is not always one way or one set of circumstances that will get you to your goal but each person has to decide for themselves what they are going to do. I really think that was the core of what my parents taught us,” he said.
