When it comes to matters of the heart, the way men and a women express their feelings is dissimilar and visible to all. When I look at relationships today, a man's emotional capacity appears limited while a woman's appears limitless, an imbalance that makes communication difficult. Many couples struggle with communication because the man is so uncomfortable with his feelings that he avoids confrontations that might involve them. The woman, who is so skilled at expressing her feelings that she is often accused of wearing them on her sleeve, is willing and ready to share them. This struggle is sometimes attributed to the way men and women's brains are wired.
Where the anatomy of the brain is concerned, the difference between men and women is gray and white. This is because the human brain is made primarily of two different types of tissue, called gray matter and white matter. New research reveals that men think more with their gray matter, and women think more with white. Psychology professor Richard Haier of the University of California, Irvine found that in general, men have nearly 6.5 times the amount of gray matter related to general intelligence compared with women, whereas women have nearly 10 times the amount of white matter related to intelligence compared to men. Research noted that just because men and women think differently; it does not affect intellectual performance. Although there in no evidence in intellectual differences, this difference may impact the way men and women interact emotionally.
Men and women struggle emotionally to find balance. When men find themselves in over their heads emotionally, they often shut down completely. Because man is able to shut himself down emotionally, he is able to put his silent treatment into his temporary storage place leaving the woman alone to deal with her feelings. These types of emotional battles are usually devastating, leaving men emotionally numb and women emotionally scarred. This battle creates a void in communication and destroys intimacy. The difference in the way men and women think often becomes a pattern of behavior that produces the same basic negative outcomes.
Communication is the key. Acknowledging that there is a difference in the way men and women think is the first step to improving communication. The lack of respect for each other's feelings creates wars, and wars are ended with treaties. Communication brings about mutual respect. When men and women accept there dissimilarities and come together at the negotiation table, the lines of exchanges are opened, and the ability to resolve the emotional conflicts becomes possible. This common ground is where differences are resolved.
Men and women must find common ground. Each must acknowledge that people are more important than feelings, and feelings are more important than the events that caused them. They both must seek out oneness. This is where true power resides. There is no force more powerful than a man and woman who are one in thoughts and feelings. Their oneness is what creates families, and it is the catalyst for better relationships, neighborhoods, and communities. This oneness is full of power and possibilities because it makes differences in feelings and thoughts obsolete.
Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. To get copies of his books, or for questions, comments or more information, go to www.tlhouston.com.