Insight News

Sunday
Nov 23rd

Speaking fear invites it into your life

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Greetings. I want to first say thank you to everyone who has been reading my column. I have received a number of calls, text messages, and emails from individuals. You inspire me to continue writing and I know that if I can just touch one person’s life (young or old,) my writing is not in vein. 

Today, I wanted to talk to you all about a topic that I think is very important, so please pay attention … the topic at hand is fear. What is fear? Fear is a four letter word that can have the ability to stop you dead in your tracks. It can disable you, hinder you, and prevent you from reaching your full potential. When you speak fear, you manifest fear. You invited it into your life and you allow it to control you. When you speak fear, you dwell in self-doubt, and you block yourself from obtaining blessings. Trust me, I know a little something about fear.

I remember before I started my doctorate, I came up with a number of excuses regarding why I should not start the program. I was afraid. I was afraid of success, afraid of failure, afraid of change, afraid of not knowing what to expect, among other fears. I second-guessed myself and for a split second, I almost backed out. One day, one of my co-workers at the time, Ms. Angela G. Kimbrough, looked over at me and said, “God does not give you the spirit of fear.” It was at that moment, that I knew I was supposed to move to Virginia and tackle what was a difficult challenge – to obtain my Ph.D. At that time in my life, I really needed to hear those words. It makes me think about how God can speak through people, when you least expect it. I ended up moving to Virginia and focusing on aligning myself with God’s will. Virginia Tech was a beast. If I was to sum up my experience, I would have to use Charles Dickens’s quote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

Nevertheless, citing Julius Caesar, “I came, I saw, I conquered.” My point in saying this is if you can get over your fears, you can conquer anything. Yes, that is what I said –if you can get over your own fears, you can conquer anything and obtain any goal that you desire. What are you afraid of? Fear, no Moore.


What is fear? Fear is a tool, a mechanism, a strategy that is used to hold you back, prevent you from doing something, and is used to control you. One of the goals of fear is to keep you stagnant, to keep you trapped; to keep you enslaved, oppressed, depressed, and stressed. You get the picture.

If we think about fear from a historical perspective, I am sure you can think of many situations in which fear was used to “keep others in line.” Not only do we speak fear into our own lives, we consciously and sometimes unconsciously speak it into the lives of others. Then again, sometimes we project fear onto others maliciously, with the attempt to harm.

Have you ever told a friend about something that you wanted to do, and felt like they doubted if you could actually do it? Have you ever shared a goal with a coworker, and they just told you to keep dreaming or made you feel like you were wasting your time? Have you ever stopped and wondered why people would respond this way?

Most of the time, it is because they are fearful and do not believe in themselves. On top of that, they may suffer from what I call the “misery seeks company” syndrome. If individuals believe that they cannot succeed; they may project that feeling onto you and attempt to discourage you. Sometimes it works. However, you have the power to reject this notion as you can achieve any goal you set your mind to.

To do this, you must speak Moore. You must speak positivity into your life in order to manifest your dreams. You must dwell on your dreams, focus on them, believe in them, and then align yourself with your goals. You must also have faith that your goals can be achieved.

A couple of weeks ago I gave a workshop on obesity and mental health in Georgia. During this workshop the audience got into an interesting discussion about manifesting one’s dreams. One of my friends Ms. Alaina L. Lewis of Electric Heart Media, LLC and Insight News (who flew from Minneapolis to film the workshop,) gave us her perspective about fear. Through an interesting dialogue, Ms. Lewis told the audience that success is about numbers. She continued to mention in a room full of 100 people that everyone can have the same dream. She later mentioned that only two out of the 100 hundred will actually manifest their dreams.

Of course, the audience asked about what sets the two individuals apart from the remaining ninety-eight. She said, the two individuals’ desires for their dreams are so powerful that they outweigh their fear of failure, and when you get past your fears you also move in front of those 98 individuals. These 98 individuals who can’t get past their own fears, become null and voided. The point being, success is about overcoming fears and not letting your fears get the best of you.

With that being said, I want you to do me a favor, that is if you trust me. I want you to take a sheet of paper out and write down all the things you are afraid of. Maybe it is starting a new career, investing in a business, going back to school, leaving a relationship, etc. I want you to read the list out loud to yourself saying, “I am afraid of (blank).” As you read through your list, I want you to think about how much of your life you have spent operating out of this fear. I want you to think about all the times you allowed this fear to overwhelm you, to take over your life, to control you, to interfere (or should I say interfear) with obtaining your goals.

Next, I want you to apologize for not believing in yourself, by saying, “I apologize for being afraid of (blank),” for each item on your list. Next (and this is the most important), I want you to recite, “I am no longer afraid of (blank) for each item on your list. After you have completed reciting what you are no longer afraid of, I want you to tear up the sheet of paper into small pieces. Hold the small particles in your hand. Walk over towards the trashcan, and throw each piece of paper away (one by one). As you are throwing your fears away, I want you to repeat to yourself… “I will fear, no Moore.”

As you begin to let your fears fade away, I want you to think about how you will replace the space that you have now created in your life. What about filling the space with courage, perseverance, diligence, obedience; something positive? Try it and see what happens, and then let me know. I will be doing the same. We can do it together. Let’s practice speaking positivity, speaking things into existence – speaking Moore.

I hope to hear from you soon, but until then, stick around, “there’s Moore to come.”

Darren D. Moore, Ph.D., LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an assistant professor in Marriage and Family Therapy at a University in Georgia, and the founder of The Moore Therapy Movement. He is a north Minneapolis native, obtained his bachelors' degree in African American Studies from the University of Minnesota, his masters' degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Valdosta State University, and his Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy from Virginia Tech. Moore can be reached by email at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or via talk/text at (612) 296-3758. Please note this column is for educational purposes only. It is not to diagnose or treat any mental health issues.



 

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