Insight News

Feb 10th

What does it mean to be one in marriage?

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one in marriageMarriage is an honorable estate.

My niece Shanna, and her husband, Jarod, entered into that beautiful union on Saturday, April 5. It was my honor and privilege to lead them through the marriage vows. On that day, two souls became one. As I prepared for this grand and auspicious occasion, my mind could not help but reflect on what does it mean for two to be one. Where does this oneness come from?

The oneness between man and woman is sanctioned by God. It is spiritual. If both are not ready for the mental and emotional commitment required, spiritual oneness cannot be achieved. This limits the relationship to the physical realm, which is a temporal environment because physical appearance changes. People in this type of relationship will fall in and out of love based on circumstances and feelings. This is very unhealthy. A healthy relationship requires a spiritual connection that supersedes feelings and circumstances. True oneness is achieved when heart reaches heart.

Spiritual oneness is a term used to describe the invisible connection that takes place between man and woman that binds them together spiritually and emotionally. Although they are not joined at the hip physically, the woman spiritually becomes "bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh." They are no long two, but one spirit. Their thoughts, desires and passions are connected in such a way that no other person, place, or thing can come between them. Spiritual oneness should be the goal of all relationships.

To have a healthy relationship, both the man and the woman must be willing to give a part of themselves. This is more than just lip service. A person's inability to share the things that come from the heart speaks volumes about how they view the relationship. Both the man and woman must be willing to give their hands, heart, back and brain – forsaking all others for the good of the union. Each principle in the relationship must be willing to share cars and care, flowers and hugs, words of affection and things that show affection. It is the right balance of internal and external giving that brings harmony to the bond.

Spiritual oneness can be achieved. The harmony between internal and external giving is the basis for any healthy union. When both the man and women give of themselves, a lasting bond is formed that has unlimited potential. Their time, energy, resources, passions, affections and commitment multiply. They are able to achieve more together than they could have ever done apart.

Man and woman are more than what meets the eye. They are body and soul whose spirit represents the total essence of their being. Their physical, mental and emotional characteristics will always be secondary to their spirit. Spiritual oneness takes place in the heart. It is in the heart that the love they have for each other become the bridge that brings them together eternally. Therefore, spiritual oneness is essential for the internal peace needed to sustain a healthy long-term relationship. Shana and Jarod have this love and oneness, and I wish them nothing but peace and happiness as they spend the rest of their lives together.

Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. To get copies of his books, for questions, comments or more information, go to

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