Insight News

Feb 06th

He who has friends must first be friendly

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stockvault-doctor-saying-hello127693Do you think I am friendly? Am I approachable? These and similar questions has been asked of me by men and women alike. In most cases, I am thinking, "If you have to ask the question, you may already have your answer." But in some cases, it may be that the person is in the dark of why people don't approach them or think they are friendly. Because the propensity for others to approach us can impact our relationships and employability, it is necessary that I address the subject, cause, and effect of being friendly.

To begin with, what does it mean to be Friendly? One definition defines friendly as warm, comforting, approachable, and helpful. If you look further at some of the synonyms, you will find words like, open, open-minded, amenable, accessible, and sociable. These are also the characteristics of someone that people are able to talk to or do business with. One of the simplest thing you can do to present yourself as friendly and accessible is to smile. People who smile are perceived as friendly and approachable.

Secondly, how friendly you are will be a driving factor in determining if you are approachable. The effect of being approachable can be positive or negative. People who's emotions are controlled by other will be difficult to approach at times.

Depending on the circumstance, they could appear unapproachable. When you are open, and friendly, it will be communicable. People will feed off your friendliness. You can transform your home or work environment by your demeanor.

When it comes to environment, you can be a thermometer, responding to your environment, or you can be a thermostat, one who controls your environment.

Thirdly, there is an upside to being friendly. When people feel they can talk to you, they are open to during business with you. They will also give you valuable feedback about how you, your business or relationship is doing. If you are looking for a mate, you are what you attract, so friendly, open-minded people will come into your circle. Potential suitors will approach you. They will see your smile and warmth as inviting and appealing. Good people will come into your sphere.

Finally, there is also a downside to being unfriendly. People avoid those who appear unfriendly, unsociable, and close-minded. Businesses fail, and potential relationships are missed. I knew of someone who had a business who was not very friendly. Those who came in contact with them did not feel welcomed. They told others about how unfriendly that business was and eventually it failed. This is probably true for relationships as well. If you are not nice, word will get around and people will avoid you.

A man that has friends must show himself friendly, (Proverbs 18:24). Everyone should do their own personal assessment. They should take a hard look inwardly to see if they are friendly, easy to talk to or do business with. If you are in business, you do not have the option of being hot and cold. Your smile will be your welcoming card to others. Being friendly will carry you far in business and relationships.

Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who is committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. For copies of his books, questions, comments or more information, go to

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