Winter is coming.

We can see it happening right before our eyes. Leaves are falling, days are getting shorter and temperatures are dropping. Nature is preparing us for what is about to happen. Whether it is the winter, spring, summer or fall, they all require change and adjustments. Relationships have their season as well, and it is similar to what you would expect to see in nature with the exception that they could be years in duration. Because the seasons are long, the sooner you are able to determine the season you are in, the easier it is to make the right type of adjustment. Here’s some advice to determine if winter is on the way in your relationship.

First, all relationships must prepare for their winter because the winter of the relationship will test the resolve of both parties involved. In winter, growth and development has ceased, and rigidness has settled in. There are no new discoveries during the wintertime. The things that have been stored deep in the heart of the individuals are the only substance the relationship will live on. The couple will be forced to embrace or freeze to death. Anyone that is experiencing winter in their relationship should work on rekindling the fire.

Secondly, spring is the time to prepare for winter. This is the relationship season with the most amount of growth, but it also requires the most amount of work. Planting good emotions, watering them with gifts of affections, and pruning away the unproductive behaviors are all key activities. The heart of both individuals must be tilled, removing all the residue of the previous season. Once the relationship begins to grow, it must be supported by new experiences that are built on the previous day’s growth. These experiences become roots that are the foundation of a strong relationship. The work put in at the beginning of the relationship will provide the needed substance to sustain it during the winter of the relationship.

Next, summer is the time to get strong emotionally in preparation for winter. This relationship season is the most powerful time of the relationship. Every relationship should have its summer.

The sun is shining. Laughter, love, affection, favor and fellowship are shared in abundance. Both the individuals are better together. Like the days of summer, love is long and strong.

Visibility is clear. Because of transparency, communication is at its best. Summer is fun. Without a strong summer, winter survival will not be possible.

Finally, fall is the relationship season closest to winter. It is the harvest season and the time to enjoy the fruit of your labor, but there is still a clear signs that winter are coming. You may notice a falling away followed by slow decaying of those things that were once so beautiful. Both people in the relationship find themselves covering up, but the chill in the air is still apparent. If you believe that your relationship is in trouble, you should seek counseling before your winter hits. It is easier to keeps relationships together then it is to put them back together after they have fallen apart.

If you are experiencing a change in your relationship, take care of yourself. Winter, spring, summer and fall all have one constant … you. All relationship seasons should begin and end with self-love. You must be first in your relationship priority. You cannot be the best you inside of a relationship until you are the best you outside of the relationship. Be true to yourself because winter is coming.

Timothy Houston is an author, minister, and motivational speaker. For copies of his books, questions, comments or more information, go to

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