Last week, I shared an article about blended families … the most complex of all relationship types.

To have success in these complex relationships, they must be simplified. You must also factor in the prospective, perceptions and priorities each person brings to the relationship. With all the moving parts, these relationships can be a mathematical and emotional nightmare. There is hope. Here are a few simple tips in simplifying your relationship.  

Start with your spiritual relationship (single variable). There are seven dimensions of the human person – spiritual, moral, intellectual, physical, social, economic and political. These dimensions should be approached from most-important to least-important. To put more value on the physical than the spiritual, or economics before morals is a mistake. Character precedes conduct, and spiritual and moral integrity are more of an indicator of relationship success than money and looks. The spiritual health of a person is the most important variable in simplifying your relationship.

Then bring the qualities to the relationship that you are looking to receive from the relationship (dual variable). The relationship between two people should produce something greater than what each person could have produced individually. If any person in the relationship is diminished in the eyes of the other, the relationship may become out of balance and an adverse reaction will eventually follow. Common goals and interest, mutual respect, and trust, will bring the relationship back into balance.

Relationships must build on the things people have in common (common denominator). A denominator is a shared trait or something held in common with the numerator (the other person being considered). The feelings of both people must be at the top of the relationship equation. If the relationship is based on the way only one individual feelings, the relationship as a whole will be a fraction of what it should be. It is only when the feelings of both persons are considered that the denominator is equal to the numerator, the relationship is one.

Complex relationships can be simplified. In the beginning, you must be your own numerator and denominator by working on your spiritual health, morals and values. This will balance your internal equations and bring wholeness to your personal life. From this platform of wholeness you can simplify and solve your relationship equation.

Timothy Houston is an author, minister and motivational speaker committed to guiding positive life changes in families and communities. To get copies of his books, for questions, comments or more information, go to

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